Feeling bad to have bias against someone or a certain group of people? If you happen to encounter this situation, you may feel jarring and distasteful on everything said or done by this particular person or group of people. Sometimes, we may not explicitly show our bias on others, but our biased mind will indirectly affect our action to treat them unfairly. For example, even though that person has proposed a great idea, but you may tend to find ways to oppose his or her idea. Yes, I certainly feel uncomfortable when I have prejudice against someone. How can we overcome such thought? I personally will practise three simple ways when such sickening thought starts to appear in my mind.
Way 1: Recognize the fact that everyone is imperfect
Nobody is perfect in this world. Then you surely understand that you are also one of them in the imperfect group. If this is the case, why should you have bias against someone who also has flaws in certain aspect? I hate people who disagree with what I do resulting from prejudice, if I repeat the same thing on others, will I be looking as ugly as the one who has bias on me too? So, if you want to stop degrading your own character, then you better stop prejudicing others.
Way 2: Look at the good points of others
I strongly believe everyone has their own strengths and drawbacks. If you keep focusing on the weaknesses of others, how are you going to terminate your troublesome bias? I truly understand that a black spot on a piece of white cloth is definitely more noticeable than the white part of the cloth. Imagine you have a mole on your face, other people just pay attention to your mole rather than you smooth and silky skin, how do you feel? From today onwards, try to maintain a certain level of sanity and understand the feeling of others. Most of the time, the morbid virus of bias will make us misconstrue the character of others.
Over-generalization may make us have some negative impression on a certain group of people or other races. It makes us taking the trait expressed by one person or a minor group of people and applying it to everyone. Over-generalization always obscures our vision on others. Thus, instead of envisioning how inferior the person is, why not trying to create a healthy and harmonious interaction with him or her before jumping to the conclusion too early? Sooner or later, you may discover that particular person may not be as bad as you think previously. As you are disseminating a positive signal to the person whom you bias against, thus you will find more positive signals sending back to you too in the near future. Your bias will gradually be banished once you have more pleasurable moments with that person. Shortly speaking, it is like sitting in front of a meal, don’t just look at it but taste it, you may realize its taste is not as bad as you think previously.
Way 3: Don’t tarnish your own reputation by being a bully
I am sure you don’t like to be rated as a bully, right? If you show your bias on someone, you indirectly become a bully, as your preconception is going to influence your reaction to treat this person below the belt. Whenever the devil of bias appears, I will try to remind myself, “No, no, no, I am not going to be a bully, I hate being a bully!” This simple reminder can effectively hinder me from this self-sabotaging action.
Above are the three simple ways that I will apply when I start to have bias on someone. Remember, having bias against someone is a type of negative feeling which is going to make you unhappy indirectly, so there is no point to spoil your day with its existence. Wish you good luck and enjoy your day!